April 4th, 2019 (Despairin’, Plaintive, Lachrymose Day)


Seems like your heart stops workin’.
The minute they close the curtain.

You take off your mask.
And take off your costume.
And if anyone asks you’re.
Taking a smoke break, you….
Drinking some coffee.
But everyone knows what you’re doin’.

Seems like the bus moves slower.
Just ’cause you got somewhere to go, so…
You take a few pills in Beverly Hills.
But if anyone asks you’ve.
Got a prescription, you.
Got an addiction.
Who do you think that you’re foolin’?


Er’body’s addicted to somethin’.

Er’body got a grip onto somethin’.

Even if it’s just to feel the response of appeal.

Maybe once, maybe twice.

Maybe hundreds of times.

Without it, it’s just harder to function at times.

You race to the bottom of every single bottle.

As if there was someone or somethin’ to find.

You struggle in your mind.

And you tell yourself lie after lie.

‘Til you get to the point where it’s no longer private.

The people that you work with notice the signs.

When you walk in the room it gets noticeably quiet.

So you break up the silence.

You say you’ve been at the gym.

But the way that you look, can’t blame on the diet.

So what you hidin’?


John Doe….!

I just want the John I know.

Once you put the drugs on hold.

Maybe you could come back home.

John Doe…!


I probably had too many things.

Smashed too many freaks.

Had too much to dri-….

I mean, had too much to drink.

Left the club, ended up in custody..

Random drug test, passed it luckily.

My girl broke up with me …?

I told her “Wait!

That’s just how you prevent it.

Well I ain’t no different, I loved all the money, the fame and the parties with beautiful women.

I spent so much time as a underground writer. ’cause I was afraid to succumb to the business.

And what I’d become.

But that what you’d judge you become.

The path with the greatest resistance.

That’s how the tables can turn, when they pivot and change your perspective and flip your entire position.

My whole life I’ve been dyin’ and wishin’ to live and experience everything possible.

When I told them my dreams, they just said… They ain’t logical, now I can see it, it’s optical.!


John Doe, is a name used to refer to a male whose identity is unknown.


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