I was enraged
Possessed by the desire to be even.
I was on a warpath, seeking to inflict pain on the world.
I felt it “slowly poisoning and corrupting what was within”.
My mind was enslaved to wrath, my heart harboured so much hate i felt it as i breathed, it was choking.
My fists clinched and my body shook with rage.
It frightened me, it frightened me cause i wanted to cling to that hate, i wanted it to drive me.
I no longer wanted to hear my thoughts.
I tried to drown them in the loudest music i had but i could still hear myself as the music faded.
Liquor only helped for a moment after which it started to enhance the whispers in the back of my mind, filling me with confidence to carry out the desires of my heart.
I felt it all.
Every insult, humiliation and abuse, every negative emotion.
Every single emotion i had ever suppressed seeking to lash out at the world.
I felt it all raw and untamed…